Just stop being stubborn and just do it.
Believe it or not, I was a noisy, wild, and over-confident person once in my life. Not that I completely regret the “Past Fads”, but I’m proud of the transition I made for myself to be the version I’ve always wanted to be.
We are all unique and we could be whatever we wanted to be. The message I want to spread through this post is, you are capable to transit into a different and better version of yourself if you really are ready for the change.
Uncomfortability on oneself
The “Past Fads” was a loud with cursing mouth, all over the place, over-confident person and uncomfortable of herself. I always felt like I shouldn’t be like this, this is not my parents’ vision of me and that’s disappointing.
But no, I was stubborn and believed that “you only live once”, so might as well take the risk and just be who I think I really am. So I became an activist of the quote “I may not be perfect, but I’m always me.”
So I continued being more uncomfortable of myself for several years because I don’t have the courage to change.
Seek for the change
We moved here in the Philippines in 2014 for good, and I’ve struggled a lot of months with the adjustments towards the culture and principles of this unfamiliar place and different variety of people I have to deal with.
I was stubborn, complainant, and ungrateful which made me depressive and completely a negative person. I felt extremely isolated from others. However, being a negative person is insanely exhausting so somehow I made the decision to seek for a change. I don’t want to be a negative person anymore.
This city won’t change for me and the people around me won’t change for me, the only thing that is capable of the change to make life a little bit easier, is myself. So fine, we shall make changes and we will start within ourselves.
“Be the best version of yourself”
Thinking of the best version of yourself depends on your lifestyle and ambition. So the best version I imagined myself to be was a modest woman who embraces her religion, committed to her studies, and less of a stubborn.
This imaginative version of myself excites me. I was so determined to be better to make life a little bit easier. I really wanted to be the best version I could be.
Work outside in
My way of working to be a modest woman was, turning my wardrobe to modest clothes, changing my manners and behavior, then touched up what lies in the heart.
To be specific, I got rid of the jeans to maxi skirts and dresses, ditched my unladylike manners to feminine behavior, moderately narrowed the people I hang out with, focus more on priorities than unnecessary juvenile activities, then step by step following my religion’s principles and take it into heart.
Most people would say that we should work inside out. But in my case, I know it’s harder that way, so I simply trust my process and hope to make it in the future.
Modest version of myself
It definitely took me time, courage, determination, constant failures, and disappointments to be who I am now. But now that I’m already here, all I can say is that I only went on the flow. I’m proud and contented on the version of myself now but there are still room for improvements and decluttering. Let’s face it, change is permanent.
If I would describe myself now, I would say that I’m a poised and modest muslimah, who is constantly happy and grateful for the moderate life she’s living in. Life may not be perfect but my faith in God, in myself, and my loved ones, serve as my strength in making through life’s challenges.
Embrace who I was and who I am
Getting to where I am now as a person has gone through the phase of uncomfortability of myself to being the better version of myself. I truly am happy for who I was because as cliche as it may sound, it made me who I am today. I have no regrets of my past because I know they happened for a reason.
It was a long ride to get to where I am now as a person but thank God, I did it. I love and accept the “Present Fads” but I’m sure I will constantly change, and I hope for the better.
Last note I’d leave for you is, you are capable of the change you want for yourself. Just stop being stubborn and just do it. I know at the back of your mind, you want to be a better version of yourself and you will as long as you have the courage to do so.
Ma shaa Allah, you’re such an inspiration my love �� I love you ������
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