Life Lessons To Develop Early

I'm turning 19 years old next week.

I'm grateful that I've been living in this world for almost 19 years. But did I make myself proud throughout the years? Have I made my parents proud? Have I developed myself into someone I want to be? Have I learned lessons from my experience? Am I better now?

Yes, I'm proud of myself. Yes, my parents are proud of me. Yes, I have developed myself. Yes, I've learned my lessons. Yes, I'm better now. But that doesn't mean I will settle. I will continue to be better, and continue to make myself and my loved ones proud. I will continue and I will not stop. I may have accomplished little things but I sure am proud of myself. I may have made uncountable mistakes, I'm sure my parents are proud of me because I didn't give up. I may have been a huge whiner, but I turned them into constructive issues to make myself better. And that is what I am now. 

These past few years has been a roller coaster ride, there were lots of ups and downs since my family and I stayed here in the Philippines for good. It took me almost three years to adjust, and Alhamdulillah, now that I'm in my fourth year here in the Philippines, I can finally say that, I've adjusted! I'm loving Philippines and I'm loving myself! Too fully adjust, I had to deal with the struggles and dark times. I had to bring out the positive and love in me. So here are the life lessons I learned and applied these past few years that helped me developed into someone I'm proud of. 

FAITH

I don't want to bring up my past regarding with this category because it's not something I'm proud of. However, I didn't regret all of it because I wouldn't be what I am now if it didn't happened. And I'm thankful that everything happens for a reason. So I'm a Muslim. It was hard to accept that at first, it was hard embracing the religion, but what is harder is actually applying and developing the religion as a beginner. I struggled but the first thing I did was tell myself "Just do it! Just go for it!". If you wouldn't make the first move, who would? If you wouldn't step forward, who would? So I started wearing hijab and did lots of research to embrace the beauty of it. Thanks to my, hijabi inspirations. Just last year, I embrace my religion more by surrounding myself with people that are close to the religion. My mother, my sisters, my cousins, and my MSA friends. What triggered me to do this is when I realized that people actually see me as someone better than I actually am in this religion. I wasn't proud of myself, because that wasn't me. It's a delusion. So, I made deep thinking, and you know what, I decided to become that person. I want to be a better Muslim, I want to serve as a role model, as someone who truly embrace Islam. So I prayed five times a day and follow other rules. I did lots of research, watched sermons, and attended symposiums. I liked it, I felt proud of myself. I may not be religious but I feel satisfied and from that on, I keep on going. For the sake of Allah.

FAMILY

Back in my younger years, I know my family and I weren't that close. I wasn't open to my parents, I wasn't a good sister. I was closer to my friends than to my family.  Not that I regret it because my friends were my family, they still are. I just got hit in the head and realized that my parents are getting older, my younger sister is almost in her legal year. Life is short, that means shorter time for family bonds. Love your parents more, more than anyone in this world. No matter what they did to you, no matter what you did to them. Your parents deserve all the love you can give. They are so precious, so precious that diamonds can't beat how much treasure they are. My parents are my life. They are my breath, they are my heart beat. And I wouldn't be living my life today if it weren't for them. Let's never give up on them, and let's never give them inappropriate attitude. It's never too late to be a better daughter or son. As long as you're alive, you can be a better child to your parents. We may not be perfect but we always have the ability to be better and turn our wrongs into good deeds.

My sisters have been my companions longest of time. They may be annoying but they are dear to my heart. My little sister is the dumbest of all although she always top her class. I feel like she's dumb because I have this feeling of responsibility to turn her stupid decisions into wise decisions. I always have the need to look after her, besides she's my only biological sister. We run the same blood. I realized that I need to act as her second mom, because all I want is for her to be better and for her to enjoy her life to the fullest while staying on the right track. Since I saw improvements and I saw how she makes effort to better herself. I was grateful that I didn't give up on her and I decided to be a better sister. We've never been closer.

SELF

I have been hard on my myself in high school, I always wanted to be well known. But now, I'd rather be worth knowing than well known. Now that I see my worth, I set my standards straight. I pull out negativities in my life because if these aren't contructive, it wouldn't help me develop myself or solve struggles. These negativities have different aspects from friends, family, university, unsolved issues, and toward myself. Being positive doesn't mean you're happy all the time or having such a good life, it means being wise and controlled enough to turn bad vibes into good vibes. Meditation helped me a lot with this, because it calms my mind and lets me think of better ideas to resolve myself or my issues. Meditation helped me a lot with my emotional being, it was uncontrollable before, I had severe anxiety, panic attacks, and even depression. 

Recently, I started wearing make up. I used to have an attitude where I believe that not wearing make-up and showing natural beauty is more empowering than using make up. So I told myself to not wear make-up ever. Until, I had to deal with pimples, stress, and sleepless nights. Make-up has helped me empower myself. I felt confident when I do my make-up right. They cover my blemishes, stress, and sleepless feature on my face. However, my eyebags has always been visible, I don't know what to do with it. I'm trying now to embrace them because I don't like stressing myself over it any more. I also believe that make-up doesn't really cover all of you, it just enhances your beauty.  I also started wearing clothes that are comfortable and modest. I love wearing them because I feel like it's the right thing to do and the satisfaction in the thought is beyond words. More over, I do believe that wearing modest clothes is my personal style.

I also learned the importance of self-love. It is so important but underrated. For me, self-love is about bettering yourself every day. You do something for yourself that your present and future self will thank you. And make a legacy for your past. There are so many ways to improve your self-care, self-esteem, self-confidence, or youself in general. All you need is motivation and determination to do it. I sometimes have days of slugging and be a complete mess for a day, however, what's more important is how you turn yourself and your day into bright and proudful one. I want to have a proudful life before getting married in the future by deciding rightfully and wisely, focusing on bettering myself, appreciating little things in life, and by always showing and giving gratitude at all times.

FRIENDSHIP & RELATIONSHIP

For me, friends stay and go. They are not going to be there for you forever, they are not going to be there at your dark times forever. So be very picky with choosing your circle of friends. I realized this when I get to college. There are range of people with different personalities in college, you will meet different people. People you thought you'll never meet, people that has personality you thought never exist, unbelievable people who will do wrong things to you. I realized that these people aren't just in college, these range of people exist around the world. They are in your surroundings. Set no attachments with your friends. Be wise on picking your friends because you know your worth and you don't want anyone to treat you the way you wouldn't treat yourself.

I had a boyfriend in highschool, it was a tragic relationship, it was puppy love. But I learned a LOT after the break up. Before I step into college, I oath to not have a boyfriend until I graduate. I must say, I'm doing good. I'm graduating next year, April, and I still am single. *winks* I think after college, I wouldn't jump into relationship either because I enjoy being single. Being single is independence. I don't need anyone to depend on, I don't need attention from a specific person, and no one will bother me with my actions and decisions. I mean, I will get married in the future anyway, so why rush things. We are still young, and we shouldn't rush things that are meant to last forever. There are so many people who rush this, they call it "love", and I call it "infatuation". One week palang ang relasyon, "Happy weeksary, I love you" agad, edi wow.  I don't want to judge these people any deeper but one thing I can advice is, if you don't see your future with that person, leave him/her. You're just wasting your time, better put it off to bettering yourself and achieve goals you should've achieved long time ago or your present goals. 

There are more to rumble. However, I feel like I'm writing a documentary already. So cutting the topic off by reminding you that it's not too late to change you and your life into something better. I hope you deliver these advises to your life, and I hope you learn from it as well. I'm rooting for you! I know you can do it! If I did, you can do it too!